Knight Swordfag
"For Maidens!" Swordfag, or Sigvard, is a adventuring knight belonging to the Fagian house of Swordfagia located east of the Fagian Plains, in Fort Swordfag. He acts as the leading figure the forceful little shit in many adventures. In combat, he's either excessively cautious to a point of crippling his capability, or too vicious for his own good. Known to be an avid collector of "educative biological magazines" it's just porn of all kinds, his hobby is saving "Fair Maidens", currently being at #5761 maidens saved. He was only rewarded by number #3027, Violet. Some suspect that he is a furfaggot has strange preferences due to his relationship with her. His weapon of choice is a Bastard Sword. He fights with grace and speed - whenever possible. If not, he'll gladly just wail away at something with an ultramassive greatsword, using it as a baseball bat. He's adaptive. Adventure Summary Swordfag is a hero that has partaken in dozens way too many many adventures to count. He is the estabilished leader of several adventuring groups, also being renowed for his hilariously low rolls combat maneuvers, and OP Equipment Being a minmaxing son of a bitch oh jesus christ what the fuck is this demon thing fuck nooo whyy his quick-thinking nature. Two dragons are known to have been slain by his party his hand. One of his main objectives, apart from saving FAIR MAIDENS, is to find the fabled (not really) Blade of Swordfag, a lost heirloom of his house. Known to have dwellings in Newshire, apart from Ye Olde Fort Swordfag. Has recently acquired a Will-O-Wisp familiar due to being utterly shit at anything magic related. And then a yandere demon waifu. Because one companion is fucking boring. Suffice it to say, Sigvard's summary could be discussed all day here. So fuck it. He has seemingly retired from adventure to live on the Fort with his fíance. Notable Feats -Once was attacked by a party member who wanted to betray everyone for gold. He banished the betrayer's spirit by conjuring the very spirits of the house of Swordfag somehow, and hitting him hard with his sword. Really hard. That also revived a dead party member, for whichever reason -Was CONTENT REDACTED DUE TO OBSCENITY -Watched the legendary fight between Wrestler Organ and Holk Hugan. At the climax of the battle, he cheered the gnome on so hard, he bent reality by giving the chair Organ was wielding the power of the sun. The strike killed Hugan instantly. -After being involved in a fight between party members, Swordfag assaulted one of them with his sword. However, he accidentally slashed it too fast and everywhere, wiping out the already ragged and injuried party. He then proceeded to carry on a road until he found a ragged female pyromancer, of which he accidentally used as a meatshield against a divine mace. It did not work quite well. -Was poisoned severely while fighting two dragons. Nevertheless, he was saved when the dragons were distracted by a charm potion. The poisoner proceeded to attempt to finish the Knight off, when Swordfag'' "accidentally"'' facestabbed his agressor while moving away. He swears he did it on purpose. -Once acquired a legendary mithril-edged magical longsword - a blade which could cut fire in half, as a reward for helping a blacksmith achieve revenge against a group of bandits. He then lost it while renovating his home. He has been looking for it under his drawers ever since. -Talked his way through an entire adventure once, appeasing Knights, Lords and Kings. Not that it mattered much, as he ended up being betrayed in the end, and the party was forced to fight a score of twenty armed men in the throne room. Luckily, they emerged victorious. Swordfag claims the armed men walked in by accident. Quoting the Knight, "They were just looking for the bathroom." -Was stabbed by a massive greatsword. Then proceeded to pull out said greatsword and stab the one who caused him the injury in the first place before dying a heroic death. He was returned to the world of the living after reaching Brohalla, as Brolaire did not like his helmet. -Took a spear 2 da knee xdxddxdx -Somehow survived being crippled and ambushed by two party members who wanted to sell fair maiden number #3027 to slavery, and proceeded to beat the shit out of one of them, while the other one accidentally bound himself. -Saved a fair maiden from being abused by vile ruffians by executing a combinated attack with a paladin, in which his sword was infused with HOLY MIGHT. The Knight wiped out all the agressors in one spin. -Wiped out an entire airship crew by using a cannon to fire a sword at them. Somehow, one shot was enough. -After losing his entire left arm for the eleventh time, he threw a pebble infused with the power of Gaia itself at a necromancer which was the BBEG of the story, one-shotting him, and transforming him into a smoothie. -Busted the freshest moves in Vearpi, becoming the king of DDR after performing live in the forest of solitude. Afterwards, he proved his dancing skills once again, outdancing a Lich and earning "MAD RESPECKTS". -Sucessfully performed a Bladestorm after failing exactly 626 times. -Once became possessed by an ANCIENT EVIL and rolled a -57 for a Dildonova. A long, seven minute cutscene may or may have not happened after that. -Killed P'kar, an abyssal fueled by pure rage, after getting his ass burned. Literally. talk about hot pants -Coordinated a sucessful attack with only his summon, Wheel Skeleton, to take down three airships that were assaulting Fort Swordfag. -During Halloween, became the cutest catgirlboysomething ever to grace the land of Vearpi, winning several contests and avoiding even the minor of wounds with the use of his cuteness. -Inadvertedly opened a gate to the legions of hell while trying to conjure up a healing spell. Against all odds, the knight managed to close the gate - that was in his body - through the sheer force of his willpower alone. -Owner of the longest character page dick on the /v/RP Wikia. Seriously. (Silly Editor, that's Trogg! I'm the second one!) Jesus Christ how horrifying. -This same sick fuck punched an innocent maiden, cracking -HIS- helmet that she was wearing, and jaw along with it. -Can make his dick glow. Not even fucking kidding. -Is the best tabletop player ever. No, like seriously. Fucker used his Laser Crab character to defeat a Lich Lord leagues above his own. That got his character 400 levels, and he used the subsequent experience to destroy the universe. Also half-fae catboys. Yeah, he's /that/ guy. -Broke an Orc's Champion spine and convinced a tribe of thousands of orcs to become peaceful. With his face. -Fought an entire army of Fae, Dryads, Faetouched and Treants alone - and won. -Made a wrath demon cry. Multiple times. -Earned his happy ending. Category:Heroes